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i can't (demo)

by mesmi

supported by
Mikko Paakkola
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Ron Kawaguchi
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Ron Carter
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about

hoping all my stateside lahvs remember their power to vote tmrw!

// story

wrote this tune a year ago (demo has a late august 2017 date), worked on it last dec into the new year. pretty much forgot about it until i was playing back demos in my car recently. though unpolished, i thought now might be a good time to share it.

a note at the bottom of my lyrics pad, where I'll usually jot down an initial inspiration or focus:
"for those who have been under
the hand of abuse, injustice, oppression"

this song came from a reactive feeling of "i can't take this anymore," and i know a lot of us have felt this way at some point. i'm not one to get on a soapbox, but times are strange and humanity's important. you matter and what you think and do matters. i know it all can get super confusing and exhausting, even futile-seeming, but i encourage you to still try and care.

systems are bloated, things are frustrating, but try to talk to people, do your own research, get informed on what's going on in your area; non-partisan websites like www.ballotpedia.org, ballotready.org and votersedge.org can be really helpful.

full disclosure, growing up i wasn't someone who was heavily invested or interested in politics. i now know that to not care is a privilege, but one we can't afford to give into. "i can't" came out of a a feeling of "these things cannot be" -- i hope it leads to feelings of *can* toward positive change for all of us.

you are important. what you love and what you believe are important. even in its darkest states, there can be reason to vote. here's a lovely, powerful piece from my friend delonte gholston: sojo.net/articles/still-we-vote

your vote can be part of your voice, and i hope you join others in making your opinions known and counted tomorrow.

<3

//

lyrics

"I CAN'T" LYRICS

your words are poison
like water bleeding black
your hands coward weapons
easy knives to the back

you cheat, steal to get your way
padding coffers with coffins in your twisted game
so many times i've tried to escape
bracing myself for the repeat pain

i can't i can't i can't
no i can't i can't i can't
oh i can't i can't i can't
take anymore

your heart, stone-cold empty,
chambers echoing your name
and no price is too high
as long as others take the pain

yeah you're stuck hallucinating
think that if you hide it that nobody can see
that you'll get away with everything and
i'll keep my mouth shut for your fee

i can't i can't i can't
no i can't i can't i can't
oh i can't i can't i can't
take anymore

i can't say it's okay
i can't sleep in the bed you made
i can't take anymore

cause i can't stand being this afraid
i can't let this be my every day
i can't take anymore

i can not not not
i can not not
i can not not not
i just can not
(x2)

i can't i can't i can't
no i can't i can't i can't
oh i can't i can't i can't
take anymore

i can't i can't i can't
you can't you can't you can't
we can't we can't we can't
take anymore

credits

released November 6, 2018
written, produced & mixed by mesmi at VATOCA Studios.

photo credit: nathan dumlao @nate_dumlao
some good reading: sojo.net/articles/still-we-vote
voting day: tues nov 6th, 2018!

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mesmi Los Angeles, California

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MGMT + Licensing: vatocastudios [@] gmail [dot] com

Avatar art credit: ummmmandy

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